


Vast and unknowing

by orangetree



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 14:54:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16410602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangetree/pseuds/orangetree
Summary: Clyde Donovan and Craig Tucker decided there would be no beginning, middle or end to this, just no strings attached physical release. Then they realised they were right in the middle of it all.





	Vast and unknowing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redrocketracer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redrocketracer/gifts).



Craig looked naked without his hat Clyde had decided one evening while watching him draw stars and moons and planets on his beat up converse. He had a gold and a silver sharpie and draw all over the white rubber part. 

“Thanks for letting me stay here.” He looked over at Clyde with his giant dark eyes. Clyde just pulled him closer into his side. Craig’s dad was offered a once in a life time job in Wyoming and he didn’t want to to miss any time with his own friends before leaving for college. It wouldn’t make sense to try and make new friends when he did so poorly at it here. He didn't talk enough, he had a hard time making eye contact. These strange traits did not make for a social butterfly. 

Clyde’s father turned their basement into an apartment of sorts for them. New carpet and a bedroom with a queen sized bed. There was a nice pull out couch, but both liked to curl up in the bed. A mini fridge, xbox and a flat screen smart tv. It was paradise to two eighteen year olds. 

“You want to smoke?” Craig was pushing the button on the vape pen he smoked weed out of. Skittles flavoured supposedly, but it all tasted like weed to Clyde. He took a deep drag and blew out a smoke ring, his throat looked long and unmarred and perfect. He decided he was going to sink his teeth into the junction where Craig’s throat met his shoulder. Everytime he looked at Craig, he felt something in the pit of his stomach. Clyde just felt a lot. He was one of those people who had so many feelings about so many things. He wasn’t a cry baby like he was in his younger days, he just had too many feelings. Many of those concerning his best friend.

“Don't I always?.” He took the pen from Craig and took a drag. He pulled Craig in his lap and he opened his mouth lazily for Clyde to blow smoke into. He watched him exhale again and Clyde buried his face in the junction where his throat met his shoulder. No strings attached fucking. They discovered that neither were willing to make big commitments to anyone before they started college, that would be a huge waste of time. But both needed a physical outlet as horny teenagers often do. Clyde was one of the few boys Craig juggled, his heart shattered by the last boyfriend. He wasn’t the best in relationships. He never knew how to pick them right and always ended up feeling disappointed. Clyde realised he was great at the beginnings of relationships, but sucked when it came to the middles and ends. There was no middle and end with Craig, he was just someone who was underneath Clyde. They could hook up when they felt like it, play video games when they didn’t, hang out either way, it was the perfect system.

“You look so pretty when you do that.” Clyde’s words were muffled by Craig’s smooth tan skin. Craig just worked his long slim fingers through his brown hair and moaned prettily for him. He was good at that. He knew how to read Clyde, exactly what he wanted from him. That was the best part of sleeping with your best friend, you knew exactly what they liked. Clyde liked pretty moans and breathy words of encouragement. Craig liked a hard fuck and bruises on his collar bones and hips. The perfect system.

Craig just hummed and pulled out his phone as it chirped. Boys often texted Craig, they knew exactly what they were getting from him. Kenny McCormick was one, Clyde saw him coming up the stairs one day adjusting his pants and pulling on that familiar orange parka. Craig was asleep on the pull out couch, curled up under the old throw he had tossed on there. The blanket was pulled up under his slim arms and Clyde could see the bones in his back. He wanted to run his fingers over the knobs in his spine and the slopes of his shoulder blades. But he wasn’t going to blur one hookup with another. It wasn’t their way, they gave each other space like that. That was one of their rules, give the other the room to roam, don't suffocate the other with demands. 

“So, do you want to make some extra money?” He blurted out to a concerned looking Craig. Mr. Donovan gladly housed and fed him. Craig’s parents would put money in his account for clothing, school supplies, things like that. But it might be nice to have something to give to Mr. Donovan. He had only had one other part time job before, working at the movie theater in town before getting fired for snarking about people’s viewing choices. It wasn’t his fault this town had no real sci fi culture, but seemed to receive every Adam Sandler film that was ever conceived. Might as well give this another try.

“I suppose. Might as well make some money before Vassar.” He told him solemnly. He tossed his phone back on the table and went back to running his fingers through Clyde’s brown hair. “What would this money making endeavour entail?” He leaned down and nipped at Clyde’s jawline gently earning a groan. Clyde wasn’t the only one who knew how to work someone over, he was well versed in making Clyde Donovan stop chattering and start making him groan appreciatively.

“Baby, come work in my dad’s store with me on the weekends. We could use the help.” Clyde wanted this carved out time with his best friend. Craig spent his weekends running lines with Tweek, they stayed friends after their thing. Playing Mario party with Jimmy, childishly still choosing those sort of games than the shooter games. They played Pokemon go in the park sometimes too. Craig was this odd mixture of far too much mature for his age and incredibly childlike. Quiet and solemn, he liked routine and structure. One of the few that missed school in the summer. But he also liked animals, easy sort of games. He played spaceman for far too long, up until middle school. Kenny and Clyde taking turns being the alien that chased him around the backyard. He looked over at Craig now with his huge eyes and round doll cheeks. He had freckles across the bridge of his nose and still had braces. They were graduated and he still had old fashioned metal braces with blue brackets. He was watching Clyde intently, weighing the offer of a part time job.

“Alright.” He just said and went back to working on Clyde’s jawline. Clyde just sunk into the warm weight of him in his lap. Craig smelled like herby sweet shampoo and apple fabric softener. The sweet earthiness of marijuana that hung on his big cardigan sweater and he still looked naked without his hat. His eyes drifted up to his neat combed black hair. He didn’t know if he was in love with Craig. He was this constant presence in his life, this anchor of certainty when things seemed uncertain. He looked at Craig sometimes, wondered what it would be like if there was more than just sex. If the feeling in his chest was love. The way Craig made him feel when he was near. He memorized everything about him, the way he smelled, the things that made him laughed. How his skin felt against his, how soft it was. How he felt in his arms and how it sounded when he moaned his name. The way they would eat pizza in bed afterwards and he let him put on something easy and stupid for them to watch. He never complained about his taste in music or movies or anything else. He just let him be himself. It was so easy to be with him, he just wondered if that was love.

Clyde just hauled Craig’s skinny ass up in his arms bridal style and carried him to their shared bed. He tossed Craig on it like he weighed nothing and climbed on top of him. It never took long to make Craig writhe and squeak in that monotone. He could read him like a book and that book consisted of smooth tan skin, soft sighs and sharp hip bones. He liked to press his thumbs into them and leave Clyde shaped bruises. He could look at those tomorrow and know he was there. He marked him in some way. He worried Craig would float away sometimes. He was one of a few different boys. He told himself he probably wasn’t even the best one. He just wanted him to remember him when he was underneath Kenny McCormick or that older college aged guy who drove the mustang or the guy at the record shop who always gave Craig different recommendations he clearly stole from Pitchfork’s top five albums. He wanted him to press down on them and feel the sting of him there. 

Craig was a truly awful shoe sales person. He was watching two teenage girls mull over heels for some summer festival South Park always had that he never attended. He didn't understand all this drama about shoes. Just pick something out, all they did was cover your feet. He looked down at his own beat up vans and decided it was all just good enough. 

“I like the silver leather, but I feel the sparkles are just more fun.” One girl had a pair of blue and silver glitter heels in her hand. “My dress is light blue.” She told her friend tapping long purple nails against the box. “What do you think Craig?” She looked over at him. All girls seemed to think Craig had this fashion insight because he was gay. They would ask him about jackets and lipstick and it confused him. He wore the same four things over and over and his sweaters were always at least four sizes too big. 

“I like blue.” He told her, a tone of impatience was starting to creep into the edge of his monotone voice. If they just left, he could finally go on his lunch break and smoke and maybe get one of those green smoothies at the smoothie place in the mall. The Donovan’s shoe store was between a Claire’s tween nightmare store and a Bath and Body works where he could smell too many cloying sticky sweet fragrances coming from that place. Clyde was chatting charmingly with Sally Turner, Tweek’s on and off girlfriend. He convinced her Tweek would just _love_ her in some pink satin flat shoes. They looked like actual ballet slippers and were almost 90 dollars. Far too much for shoes in Craig’s opinion. Clyde on the other hand was a natural salesperson. He always knew just how to compliment someone, put a picture of whatever particular shoes in their lives. They deserve nice things after all. Craig looked over at Clyde as he rang up the sale and silently put a little line under his name. Whomever sold the most shoes at the end of the month, Clyde’s dad would get them a $100 gift card to any store in the mall they wanted. Clyde always chose lids or foot locker, which pained his father to no end. Craig knew he wasn’t getting anything, even if Barnes and Noble was tempting.

“I suck at selling things.” He told Kenny and Kyle as they sat around one of the outdoor tables and smoked, flicking their ashes into a dirty ashtray. Kenny worked at the food court, selling pretzels and was notorious for just leaving the stand without telling anyone where he was gone. Kyle worked at Barnes and Noble and got a 10% discount Craig was envious of. Kenny’s hand was on his thigh, rubbing it up and down, squeezing gently. Sometimes they fooled around in Kenny’s beat up truck, an orgasm made the day go quicker, but it meant nothing. They had an understanding, they were the same. On edge of something, never really throwing themselves in the crowd anymore.

“You can't be that bad.” Kyle tried to reassure him. They took all the same AP classes with Heidi Turner, Wendy Testaburger and Token. They would carpool together when Craig’s parents still lived here. He was just an ex classmate now, maybe a sorta friend.He liked how Kyle had lots of opinions and voiced these said opinions, he talked a lot and Craig would listen. Their groups all blended together after elementary school for the most part. Clyde played football with Stan, Kyle, Token and Craig all had classes together. Jimmy, well everyone liked Jimmy. It was nice to have a big group of people to blend into.

“I have to go back.” Kenny stubbed out his cigarette and ruffled Craig’s black hair. He saw Bebe Stevens making her way through the mall, hand in hand with her boyfriend. He was in college, playing basketball for the University of Colorado Denver and Craig sneered at the back of their heads. Clyde had a messy romantic history with Bebe. They dated on and off throughout middle and high school. During their junior year, she decided she was ready to just be on with someone. That someone just wasn’t Clyde and she dumped him during a very dramatic lunch time standoff for a senior. Craig never forgave her for what she did and would make sure to give her a dirty look when available. Sometimes he wasn’t always the nicest to Clyde, he could be rather sharp tongued with him, but Clyde was his best friend, he was soulmate level best friend actually.

Clyde took him in and stayed at his side when things were bad. Clyde cheered him on when things were good. Sometimes when they curled up together on the futon and he laid his head on his shoulder, he wondered if they could be more. It was hard to get him to let people in. Tweek told him he had spikes man, which he said in a play acting argument, but it wasn’t untrue. He didn’t know how to open up to people, trust them. But he trusted Clyde. He let Clyde peek in on his most vulnerable moments. Crying over boyfriends who broke his heart. Telling him about his parents’ marital problems. How sometimes he just felt so alone, even with all these people here. It was easier to be mean, stoic and cold. Flip everyone off, punch the weird kid. It was easier than admitting maybe he was just too awkward than try and make friends. Maybe people wouldn’t like the real Craig. The one who played spaceman, the one who stayed up all night with his telescope to look at the stars. Who tried so hard in school, not because he really wanted to do, but because it was hard for him. But doing well made him feel this special triumph. The one who still loved to play his viola and wouldn’t give it up. Clyde liked to watch him practise, he would play with his eye closed sometimes, he just memorized the music. It wasn’t cool music, it was this technical classical music. He loved science and orchestra and literature. Clyde knew that.

The kids at school thought he was this apathetic hipster, drifting from class to class, effortlessly cool. He wore his beat up converse with flair and vaped at lunch. He dated Jeff Hammond who played the drums and was in a punk band for three years before suddenly dumping him. He gave him cool street cred, he was in a punk band. But he was boring, he wasn’t really all that nice. He got bored by him. He would doodle on everything, houses and stars and technical steampunk looking limbs and eyes. He didn't tell them it was because he didn't know how to talk to people. He sat between Clyde and Tweek everyday at lunch. He ate the same lunch, a wrap veggie sandwich with hummus and fruit leather and a bottle of water. He was too thin and too quiet and used that to his advantage. Clyde would nudge his shoulder and keep him into the conversation. Tweek would elbow him teasing in the ribs and share the smile of people who had history. Clyde drove them both home in his pickup truck, a gift from his father for when he made captain of the football team over Stan Marsh last year. He always let him play the music from his phone, never complaining. Tonight it was a compilation of Hot Mulligan, State Champs and the Wallows. Clyde gamely listened along, even if he preferred rap.

“I want to make you come at least three times tonight, how does that sound?” Clyde asked him like he was asking him what he wanted for dinner. Craig just glanced over at him out of the corner of his giant eyes and laughed softly.

“We’ll see.” That was his answer for everything. We’ll see if I go with you, we’ll see if I lend you my class notes. Usually it was a no, but this instance, it may have to be a yes. He moved closer to Clyde and reached over and squeezed his impressive bicep. Clyde had grown tall and strong, had a nice football player’s build. Wide shoulders and strong biceps. He still had kind brown eyes and the same sort of monotone Craig had. Clyde felt things harder than he did and sometimes he worried that Clyde was starting to feel this harder than he did. No strings attached, no one got hurt. There was no start, middle or end, they were just a straight line moving forward with a physical relationship. Sometimes he worried he was starting to feel something too. He hadn’t hooked up with anyone else in weeks, just Clyde. He blew off a Neck Deep show with record boy and two Stark’s pond invites from Kenny to curl up with Clyde. No start, middle or end, that wasn’t the plan. But he knew life had a way of making plans for you when you wouldn’t or couldn’t. Fate just took care of things for you.

Craig was sitting on their bed pretzel style, wearing Clyde’s old football hoodie from their sophomore year and a pair of navy blue boxer briefs. The hoodie fit him perfectly, baggy in the right places and the sleeves fell over his hands charmingly. Clyde had been true to his word, he had come three times and he brushed his wet hair out of his eyes. Clyde came out of the shower with a towel around his waist, he always a little self conscious about his waist, he had a slight belly that curved over the front of his jeans. Craig didn’t care that Clyde was still somewhat pudgy, he had good arms, big warm hands. That sort of thing didn’t matter when you liked someone enough, he didn’t understand why he felt that way. He made sure he wrapped his skinny arms around Clyde’s shoulders when he joined him on the bed, kissing the back of his neck. 

“You kept to your word, that was a good night.” He kissed Clyde’s cheek gently. He gently pulled Craig to him, his chubby fingers stroking over his freckled cheeks. Everything felt delicate and fragile in the moment, like one loud noise, one wrong move and it would all topple in on itself. Maybe Clyde wasn’t the only one who was starting to feel something. Craig felt his cheeks growing flushed, the warmth of this moment washing over him. Clyde noticed it too, but he thought it was best to leave it be. He took in the view of Craig’s lovely pink cheeks and big dark eyes. The way his lashes kissed his cheeks and the softness of his tanned skin. He pulled Craig into his arms and just held him, wanting nothing more than feeling his small, bony body in his arms. The quietness of this, this feeling hurling towards him. He felt things he couldn’t express in words. He was too stupid for this he decided, a smart man could articulate how it felt to be with Craig Tucker. To hold him in his arms and kiss him. Listen to him shit talk the other mall employees or go on about the observatory at Vassar. To fuck him until the eyes rolled back in his head and he clenched around Clyde. To be with Craig Tucker and how he could never be that smart man. He was going to meet smarter men then him and he would probably talk about music, art and science with them. They would laugh charmingly at his stories, hold his hand and walk him home from study groups. They would press him into the mattress and fuck him until the eyes rolled back in his head and he would cry out their names and praise the entity of his choice for them. The thought of that made Clyde clutch at Craig in his old football hoodie and just stay quiet. Dont speak, dont ruin this moment. Just praise the entity of his choice above him and hope he could stay here just a little longer.

They sat side by side eating soft pretzels at work. Now that the graduation season was over, it slowed down until back to school. Craig sat on the backcounter and picked at his pretzel while Clyde drowned his in liquid sludgy looking cheese. Neither wanted to think about back to school and leaving the other and the familiarity of South Park. Tweek and Token were both going to east coast schools with him. Token at Dartmouth and Tweek joining him at Vassar. They had a downpayment on a dorm room together. It should have been awkward to room with your ex boyfriend, but when said ex was an elementary school ex and current best friend, things tended to be a little less complicated. Tweek alternated between shrieking at him about bringing a microwave and coffee pot and going over a check list the school already sent out a hundred times. Craig took this all in stride because he only had this one summer left with Clyde, Jimmy, Token and Kenny. He wasn’t worried about checklists and class schedules. He just wanted to think about summer activities. He thought about Clyde in the back of his mind and how he was like a bruise he wanted to press on over and over again. He nudged Clyde with his bony shoulder and gave him a little closed mouth smile. He was in this moment, so there was no need to worry about the next one.

“Do you want to go to Stark’s pond after work and look at the stars?” Clyde asked him softly. The unbreakable web of uncertainty. They were supposed to have no beginning, middle or end, but this felt like such a middle. They were in the middle of this thing together and they had to treat it with care. One wrong move, one loud noise, it would all fall apart. 

“Only if we stop for milkshakes.” He teased him so gently. Clyde was obsessed with these milkshakes from this little stand on the way to Stark’s pond. It was ran by a middle aged man and his family, a true mom and pop shop. They would sit on the cab of Clyde’s truck and drink them as they looked at the stars. Clyde always got chocolate and Craig always got strawberry. It had become a routine just like the routine of rolling around in Clyde’s bed this summer. 

The stars were so pretty and so numerous of the quiet confines of Stark’s pond. They were laying on their backs as they looked up. Craig wasn’t even pointing out all the constellations like he usually did, they were just silent. It was awe inspiring and overwhelming, Clyde felt the familiar sting of tears in his eyes. He had heard stories of people being overwhelmed by beauty and tearing up. He always thought that seemed sort of stupid when he was younger. But tonight in the warm summer breeze, with Craig curled into his side, as the stars shone as bright as Craig’s giant brown eyes, he just felt overwhelmed. He was overwhelmed by how beautiful the sky was, he was overwhelmed by the scent of flowers blooming in the night air and Craig’s herby sweet scented hair. He was overwhelmed by the fact he looked down and saw Craig’s profile and his chest ached. It hurled him towards this inevitable middle of wanting, yearning love that he tried to fight. He tried so hard not to fall in love, but he was in love. He was overwhelmed by wanting to kiss this person, this anchor in his life that he was so in love with, it hurt his chest to feel like he had no idea what they were thinking or feeling. He never knew what Craig was thinking or feeling and it drove him mad. He played everything so close to the vest, never get hurt, never let someone in. He wanted to crack his head open and peer at his brain and see what all the little parts were. What it meant to be Craig Tucker and how did he factor into his life.

“It's so beautiful.” Craig told him in his soft, montone hushed voice. “Its vast and never ending.” He was looking up at the sky and it was all those things. Craig turned to look at him with his big, bright eyes and leaned up to kiss him gently on the corner of his mouth. Clyde had patchy stubble and acne scars that didn’t take away from his handsomeness. He felt Craig roll on top of his larger frame with his bony little body and he shifted him so he was straddling his waist. They kissed like it was their last day on earth and if some rogue comet hit the planet, Clyde would be alright with that. He slid his hands underneath Craig’s Joyce Manor tee shirt and ran them over the knobs of his spine, the slopes of his shoulder blades. As Craig rolled his bony hips down onto him, he ran his finger tips over the highpoint of his rib cage, his back arched and lovely. He let Craig ride him in the open, at Starks pond in the cab of his truck on that warm summer night. It was the most daring thing either of them had ever done, openly fucking in the back of Clyde’s truck’s cab like that. Craig moaned his name softly and he gripped his hips like he was going to float off into space. He felt like he should let him if that was the case, that would be Craig’s dream, to float off into space like that. Seeing him among the stars where he belonged. He was made of stardust. 

“That was the most daring thing I've ever done. “ Craig laughed softly. Clyde gathered him into his arms and covered him with the old blanket he kept in the back seat. Craig curled into his side and he could see his eyes starting to droop closed. He had to look at the stars alone tonight. It seemed fitting that he wanted to see these celestial bodies with his own two eyes when he had his own star right next to him. He ran a hand through Craig’s soft black hair and put his other arm behind his head to get comfortable. The stars were so beautiful tonight.

Craig turned his phone over and over in his hand at work the next day. Kenny texted him, wanting to know if he wanted to blow off whatever else he was doing tonight and go to a house party in North Park. There was live music and free beer, he liked one of these things and Kenny liked the other. He saw Clyde talking some middle aged woman into buy a pair of overpriced Tory Burch flats and his smile was charming. Craig had a little closed mouth smile on his face as he watched him. He was charmed himself, he probably would have bought the flats if he were her. He watched Clyde ring them up and hand her the shopping bag. He saw Clyde put a little line underneath his name. He noticed he had lot of lines he didn’t earn, Clyde was doing sales in his name so he could get the gift card and his chest ached at that. Clyde always took care of him in his own way. He wasn’t responsible like Craig, he didn’t look at things analytically like he did. He relied on feelings and gestures and Craig really appreciated that. 

“Maybe.” He just sent Kenny and Clyde caught his eye. He knew Craig was looking at him now and he gave him a big, winning sort of smile. That charmed him, he couldn’t help but be charmed by the simple cheesy things he did for him. Clyde brought him his green smoothie for lunch and let him take the first break so he could smoke with Kyle and Kenny. He appreciated the little things so much, more than he could vocalise. He wasn’t good at that. At vocalising his thoughts. He was better at the quiet sort of thing. Like Clyde or Tweek do all the talking for him. He just pulled him into the back store for a moment and hugged him tightly. He just felt like Clyde needed to be shown he much he appreciated him sometimes. 

The party was loud, the band was raw and unpolished just like he liked. Kenny’s arm was around his waist as he watched the band play. The cheap beer tasted bitter on his tongue mixed with the cheap weed Kenny brought. Kenny’s nose was buried in the back of his head, slightly nuzzling his black hair. They were friends, they were trying to be friends. Just friends, no fucking. It was hard, but they were making it work. Sorta. 

“We’re not hooking up for sure right Tucker?” Kenny’s mouth was warm near his ear. Craig gently shoved him. This wasn’t supposed to be like this, no strings attached. No strings with Kenny, no strings with Clyde. No strings with record store boy or college guy who worked at the mall with them. But Clyde had strings, there were strings forming between them. He felt this pull for him, he felt him in his chest. He was in his heart, in his head. He found himself smiling as he thought about them sharing soft pretzels or laying in bed together at night. Watching movies, playing videogames, laughing with their friends at Tweak Bros. The way Clyde looked at him, the way he had to leave him at the end of this summer. He was in love in with him and he didn’t even feel it. He fell in love with him slowly, just piece by piece. Now he was here, he was in this moment with Kenny, one of his favourite no strings attached hookups. He had no urge to further what they were doing now. They were watching a band, drinking cheap beer, they were friends. He wasn’t Clyde, he didn't want to be with anyone else intimately than Clyde.

“Im in love with Clyde.” He told him softly. He put both of his hands on Kenny’s chest and gently tugged at his shirt. Kenny pulled him into a hug and kissed the top of his head. 

“I have lost you to a better man I see.” He teased him gently. “I will always remember you fondly Craig Tucker.” He laughed his charming Kenny laugh and Craig smiled his real smile at him. Braces and all. “So, when are you going to drop this huge proclamation on Clyde Donovan?” Kenny kept his arm around his waist as they walked towards the keg and he was ok with that. It was nice to have the warm familiar weight of a friend as he realized that everything in his world was about to change. Craig Tucker didn’t really enjoy change. He liked order, he liked planning things out. He didn't like when things weren’t the way they were supposed to be. This was going to change everything he had ever known. Clyde Donovan was his emotional best friend, he was his no strings attached hookup. He was the person he looked at the stars with and planned epic Mario party parties with. He hosted the best sleepovers, his was roommate. Now he was this person who was in this new category. He had never been in love before. It washed over him like a warm wave. He felt completely shaken and completely at peace. He had feelings and he was feeling them so much. It was hard and it hurt and he wanted to press on it like the bruises Clyde left on his hips.

Clyde was asleep when he came home smelling like cheap keg beer and shitty weed. He stripped off his Nasa t shirt, his skinny jeans and his beat up star covered converse. He crawled in bed next to Clyde and buried his face between his broad shoulders. He smelled like Polo cologne and the cheap men’s shampoo he used. He breathed him in and wrapped his skinny arms around him. He felt Clyde stir and pull him into his arms.

“You smell like weed babe.” He teased him burying his face in Craig’s throat. He felt Craig run his thin fingers through his brown hair. He just kissed the top of Clyde’s head and felt at peace with the world. He loved being in Clyde’s arms, he loved how easily he could cuddle up to him, tucked in under Clyde’s chin. He turned and kissed Clyde’s chest gently before drifting off.

Clyde was making gentle love to him that next day, both of them off work. They spent all day in bed, fucking on and off. Craig’s head tipped back on the pillow, exposing his throat. Clyde thrusted in so gently. All he could hear was his soft pants, Clyde’s groans. He knew Clyde was almost there, he could feel him grip at his hips and gently pull them up a bit. Right there, it was right there. He put his hands on Clyde’s shoulders and squeezed gently. So close, he was so close and it was on the tip of his tongue. He loved Clyde Donovan. He loved him so much. He came with a soft cry and Clyde groan against his mouth. It was perfect, it was always perfect and he couldn’t bear it sometimes.

“You are perfect.” Clyde told him as he rolled off him and pulled him into his arms. “What are we going to do when you’re in Vassar and I'm stuck here in Colorado?” He whispered into his hair. Craig just turned and looked at him and touched the corners of his mouth gently. 

“I'm going to text you everyday. Face time you everyday and talk to you on the phone everyday.” He promised him. “But first we have about a month left together and I don't want to think about leaving you yet Clyde.” He told him with total honesty. He saw Clyde’s eyes on him, really looking at him. He gave him a little piece, just a little piece of the puzzle. He felt Clyde’s heart beating faster, he did that to him. He quickened his pulse, he made his heart skip a beat. He leaned in and kissed him so gently, just a soft little swipe of the lips. 

“Craig I need to hear it.” Clyde pulled him close so their foreheads were resting on each other’s. “Please Craig say it out loud, I want to hear it in your voice.” He whispered it to him, He knew, he knew and Craig felt tears prick his eyes for some reason. It was so big, it was like he was looking at the night sky at Stark’s pond. It was vast and unknowing and went on forever. There was no beginning and no end, it was just the middle of it all and it was something that overwhelmed him in the best way possible. 

“I love you Clyde Donovan.” He looked up into his soft brown eyes. Clyde had good eyes, kind eyes. He had a nice smile and he felt everything so deeply. Things he couldn’t feel. But he could see them on his handsome face. He was boyishly handsome as they say, kind eyes and a sort of wide nose. He had a big warm smile. He loved that smile.

“I love you too Craig Tucker.” He brushed his black hair off his face and tucked it behind his ears. He loved Craig’s curved doll cheeks, the softness he still had in his face. It certainly didn’t match his sharp tongue. Big brown eyes and long dark lashes. He had freckles and braces and he looked younger than eighteen. He loved his long, skinny awkward limbs, he always looked like he was folding in on himself. He loved Craig’s snorting laugh and his instance on always playing Rosalina or Princess Peach in Mario Party. He loved that it was open, no more hiding. They loved each other. Clyde Donovan was in love with Craig Tucker and Craig Tucker was in love with Clyde Donovan. They were heading into the vast unknown together.

They spent the rest of the summer in the sort of blissed out loved up haze that only teenagers can muster up. Sneaking kisses at work, giggling behind the counters or dipping into the storage back room where the shoes were to kiss until their mouths hurt. Night picnics at Stark’s Pond, Craig even brought the telescope his dad had gotten for him. Swimming in Token’s pool, splashing each other and floating on their backs as JImmy told them jokes and Token’s mom made them sandwiches and pasta salad. 

“So this is a thing.” Token motioned between them with his fork. They looked at each other and squeezed hands under the table.

“Yeah, we’re a thing.” Clyde told him with confidence. He had Craig Tucker. He was one of those smarter men who got to take him to the movies and kiss him during the previews. He got to wrap his arms around him when they slept all curled up in their bed. He got to fuck him until the eyes rolled back in his head and he clenched around him. Wake up in the morning with him, eat waffles and turkey bacon with him. They drove to work together, they came home and planned dinner together. Sometimes they would even surprise Clyde’s dad with something they made. Simple things like spaghetti and meatballs or grilled cheese sandwiches and soup, he always appreciated it after a long day at work. The month they had left went so quickly, Clyde didn’t want it to end. But change is inevitable, Craig had to go to Vassar and Clyde would stay here and go to community college. They would meet new people, they would have new experiences. He hoped Craig wouldn’t forget about him, he hoped he made his mark on him. 

As he watched him drive away with Tweek towards Vassar, towards the great unknown, all he could think was he loved him so much, he didn't know what the future held for them. Maybe they would end up together, maybe they were better off as friends. Maybe they would both meet new people and maybe they would waiting for each other on the other side of al this. In the end, all they had was this moment, this uncertain moment where their love for each other was their anchor to this world. The future would never be certain, it would always be ever changing, but Clyde knew one thing to be true. He loved Craig Tucker and Craig Tucker loved him.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a friend, I hope she enjoys it.


End file.
